see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
