We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
