...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
