it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
