do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
