i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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