She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
