So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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