I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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