Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
third nipple confirmed
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
