Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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