I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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