Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
