In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
