i jhust puked up my retainher.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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