writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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