Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
