I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
this boner is exhausting
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
