whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
