his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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