i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
