I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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