i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
