she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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