We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
