Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
As shirtless as possible
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
