I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
