My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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