Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Even my vagina gasped.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We need to get me chipped asap
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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