is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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