3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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