Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
