So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
