My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
