I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
