i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
