people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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