she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
