put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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