Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I wish i was in the wii world.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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