So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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