He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
