I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
