What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
