So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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