Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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