your room smells of hookers.
And success
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
