people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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