so that wasnt chicken after all
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
