I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
