I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
