Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
