Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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