Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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